I’m a firm believer that moving in with your partner can make or break your relationship. It’s a bloody big step and I’ll be honest with you, things change when you move in together – I’m just keeping it real okay? But moving in together can be the best experience ever, it just requires a little give and take you know? So I’ve put together a few of my top tips for moving in with your partner which will hopefully make things a tad easier.
Try before you buy
What I mean by this is that moving in with your partner is a pretty big step so if you can, have a trial period of living together. For me and Toby, we were spending six nights a week at his mum’s house and were pretty used to living together (although actually living together is v different) so we were confident we’d be alright. However, I think it’s easy to get wrapped up in all the excitement that you’re going to move in together and you forget that there’s actually a lot more to it and it’s bloody intense. If you haven’t been with your partner long or you’ve got a few uncertainties floating around in your head, maybe just try a couple of weeks living together before you dive in!
Give each other space
This isn’t always easy if you’re living on top of each other in a one bedroom flat but it’s still important that you give each other space. You are your own people and can’t just live your lives together constantly. In the evenings if I have shit to do, I’ll generally sit in the spare bedroom and Toby will stay in the living room so we have a bit of time apart. Even if you think you’ll love being together every minute and can’t wait to spend all your time cuddling on the sofa, you’ll need to each have your own personal space as well to avoid any agg or bickering.
Don’t let housework take over your lives
Toby and I are certainly guilty of letting housework dominate our relationship. Instead of talking about where we can go for a coffee on the weekend, we spent a lot of time squabbling over who didn’t dust the bookcase properly or whose mopping technique was better (lol adult life). Remember that your relationship is more than just living together! Work out who prefers doing what housework, get it done and move on! If the hoovering hasn’t been done for a few days, it’s not the end of the world!
Make sure you spend quality time together
As I mentioned in my previous point, it can be easy to get wrapped up in housework and all the rest of it. Likewise, you can get into the habit of not putting as much effort in for each other as you used to. You know, the classic get-home-pyjamas-on-hair-up-bra-off-makeup-off situation? So make sure every so often, you spend some quality time together – go for a nice dinner, go for a stroll, go to the theatre, cook up a storm in the kitchen or whatever it is you guys do.
Set up a joint account
Finances are always a ball ache. It’s just a fact of life. But a joint account can make things SO much easier, trust me. I know it’s not for everyone and some people like to keep all their finances completely separate from their partner’s but for us, it works really well.
Not everyone is great with money and some people just get a little bit spend-happy and forget they’ve got a mortage/rent/bills to pay so before you know it, someone’s coughing up more than the other and it probably turns into a barney. Easy way to combat this? Set up a joint account purely for house related stuff and deposit the same amount of money (or however you want to split it) into it each month. That way, you both have your own money to spend on shit you want plus the joint account money. Goodbye arguing because you can’t afford the weekly food shop because so and so spent too much on Jägerbombs on Saturday night!
Remember that everyone makes mistakes
We’re only human which means we all make mistakes. Whether that’s not shutting the freezer properly so everything defrosts (whoooooops) or forgetting to put dinner in the oven. Yes, it’s unfortunate but it’s not the end of the world. If you constantly get hung up on each other’s mistakes, it will instil a negative feeling in the house and you’ll just always be pissed off. So learn to forgive quickly and remember that leaving their boxers on the floor or forgetting to wipe makeup off the mirror isn’t the worst thing they could do!
Do you have any tips for moving in with your partner?
I just wanted to pop a big thank you here to Gaston Luga who gifted me this beaut of a backpack. I feel like a timeless bag is an essential in everyone’s wardrobes and this totally fits into that category. The quality is v impressive and I’m looking forward to getting a tonne of use out of it. If you’re in need of a bag refresh then don’t forget to use KATY15 at the checkout for 15% off your Gaston Luga purchase!