I’ve learnt a lot in life. Yanno, have a wee after sex, put mascara on your bottom lashes first and throw spaghetti at the wall to see if it’s cooked. But along with the everyday things, I’ve also learnt a fair few life lessons which have a bit more meaning to them than seeing whether my pasta has stuck to the wall or not. Unfortunately I’ve had to learn some of these lessons the hard way but I’ve learnt them nonetheless and that’s all that matters.
You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped
This life lesson has the most meaning to me and I’m not gonna lie, it’s been pretty hard to accept at times. Over the last few years I’ve had my nearest and dearest go through some shit, to put it quite frankly, where all I’ve wanted to do is help them and be there for them. But sometimes, you can’t. No matter how much you love or care for them, if someone doesn’t want to help themselves then you’ll never be able to either. I wish I had accepted this a long time ago as it would’ve saved me a whole lotta grief, pain, time and effort.
But don’t forget, just because someone doesn’t want your help, it doesn’t mean you have to walk away. Instead, I’ve learnt to let them do their own thing even though that can be pretty difficult to watch someone self destruct in front of your own eyes, and just let them know that you’re there for them when they’re ready to accept help.
Have realistic expectations
I know this sounds like a really horrible thing to say but I’ve really had to lower my expectations over the last few years. I’ve had people let me down and faced countless disappointments in life in general so the only way to deal with it is to expect less. If I arrange to go for a drink with one of my pals, I’m now way more aware that they could bail on me at the last minute so I don’t get my hopes up too much. It’s quite sad really but I’ve been bitten in the arse more times than I care to mention so I have to protect myself! It’s not just to do with friends cancelling plans though, I’ll make sure I have reasonable expectations when it comes to anything whether that’s how a hotel room will look in real life or how the amazing steak I ordered will actually taste. By having more realistic expectations, I think I feel much less disappointment in life!
Live for yourself and the now
My life is mine, right? So if I wanna eat a pizza then fuck it, I’m gonna eat it. I’m a huge believer that you should live your life for yourself and nobody else. I’ve not turned into some inconsiderate arsehole (name that reference), but I’m definitely more in tune with what I want out of life. I don’t really give a toss what people judge me for as long as I’m a happy bunny and enjoying what I’m doing whether that’s taking photos in the middle of the street or saving to buy a house. I’m also starting to live more in the moment which is extremely difficult for such an anxious person but I’m getting there slowly but surely. Rather than trying to plan every teeny weeny detail of my life, I’m just taking each day as it comes!
I suppose this post got a little deep didn’t it!
In all seriousness though, some of these life lessons have been hard to learn and at times I’ve wanted to ignore them but as Freddie on The Circle says #FactsAreFacts and I’ve had to accept them.
Are there any life lessons which you’ve learnt recently?